Masterpiece.

This evening I was a gray-feathered pigeon,
A spectator of ethereal occurrences.
Upstairs, the paperback palaces bestowed Brigham
With a messenger, and he wasn't to utter a syllable.

He wore navy blues like a sailor,
The stature of a Santa Claus,
Spectacles like Buddy Holly
And the scent of the deepest dumpsters,
Scattering my fellow cockroaches
With every step,

He carried his beard
Like a lot of broken wings.
With one black sneaker on foot
And, due to lacerations,
The other in palm,
He positioned himself
Inside the train by the exit

And then he revealed himself.
A curled lip or two.

For one moment
I couldn't be so self absorbed
For his ebullience shone brightest in my pen.
His warped grin was uncontrollable.
I've never seen someone
Bask in the magestry of people
With a smirk

And he was shameless.
His love dripped
In blazes of silver streaks.
Anyone would fall into tears.

Something has pierced
The ice.
Suddenly, I can feel
My fingertips.
Suddenly, I can
Hear the bells.
Suddenly the stale souls
who gaze into glass
move rapidly,
Suddenly there is no
and every reason to cry
for his tears fall softly
forming rainbows on his cheeks.
Smiles, Cries, Over-Joyous.
Look at what we've done.

He stepped onto the sidewalk,
And I was frozen.

How I wish I could have
Sat with him and
Maneuvered that train
Into the Atlantic,
Sharing
Laughter, fear,
And the wonder of a stratosphere
Of children.

May not have caught his eye,
But I was the only one
Who saw him this evening.
My heart is left
In shards of crystal.
He was simply
The most beautiful thing
I've ever seen.

Here's to my little half-life stars.

Here's to the sidekicks.
Here's to that chick
That holds bricks
In her chest because
The gem that once was
Is now cracked.

If her eyes had laser beams,
She would burn holes in
The back of his cranium.
But no matter how hard she tries,
He'll never turn around.

Her hurt is thick like syrup

viscous and difficult to find

She's digging through
Crates of blank stares
all she wants is a word

one word, hello. 

Here's to the one who will make you wanna cry
When she tries to smile.
To the girl who spoke with people
In high places.
Here's to that one who would SO rather
Be "Her" than "Her Friend".
Here's to those ones made of diamonds and silver
Covered by sand and cloth.
Here's to the invisibles
The resistibles,
The forgettables
And the regrettables.

I see you,
And if I could I would kiss
Each and every one of you
On the forehead like a mother.

But I'm not calling out to God for you,
Because if there is a God,
Then this universe is a spitball,
And the remnants are starting to congeal.

I Gotta Be Me.

Nevada Dusk in the desert,
It's raining pyrite
and I don't have an umbrella.

Yet, I'm smiling like you wanted.
It stings a little, but
I'm more concerned with
Making sense of these
broken paths.

Bonfires with bright red-orange
Shadows, brown and yellow
Sillouhettes, They're all
dancing to something.
I don't know what yet, but
I'm still bobbing my head.

Feeling the blues tonight,
So bring on that upright,
This grin aches like
A thousand missed turns.
There's a stain on my shirt pocket
and like my man said,
"It's going to take a little more
than vodka to get it off."

None of y'all look like you used to,
a little blurry around the edges.
I can deal with that,
I just wish I could
Navigate these
fucked up
dead end
dirt paths.

But it's not that easy.
Is it.

Happy Mess.

Speaking of reminiscing,
I've been walking through tornadoes
for quite some time now.
Blinders on, playing the pilot
but really I'm so fucking close to
losing my grip on that wing.

You wouldn't believe it now,
But I once owned a glass dove,
Humble in presence and stature.
I threw it as hard as I could
Just to see what would happen
when she hit the ground.

The most thrilling moments
Were in the final millimeters that
Separated the glass
From the warped concrete.
You could almost see it flatten
Like a raindrop,
Consumed.

She shattered.
Shards must of have caught my chest,
For I began to break down.
Shocked, I fell to my knees,
Glass streaming from eyes,
Slain by that silly little bird.

As I laid on my back,
burning with regret,
a beautiful red dove,
elegant and proud,
perched herself on my chin.
She whispered second-hand
motivation and apathetic
love themes into my neck, and
that was the closest I ever came
to being happy.

Please Excuse Me.

I have been staring at the pale green wall before me
For 2 hours and 36 minutes
Because I just don't have an answer for her.

I pictured her tall and with a shade of orange
Etched into her eyes.
She would pick me up from school
And take me out for lunch
Right after 3rd grade english.

I could tell her my real favorite colors
And what makes me really smile.
She could help me,
Give me an answer,
Remove the bricks.
She could make sense.

It is as it wasn't
And this bike only goes one way.

So I keep staring at the disfigured wall,
Unable to write a word
That could break it.

I Hate You.

I hate you more than a mouthful of cigarettes
More than black eyes and cracked ribs
More than roses and candy
More than artificial flavors and feelings

I hate you like a shark hates stopping
Like Johnny hates needles
Like Questions hate Answers
It eats at me
and you have no idea.

Do we mean something?
Are we simply flesh and fuck
Little ivory knights
Full fill forget regret
Why chase a shadow?

I have tried
Tried not to breathe too heavy
Tried to keep my gaze on the pavement
Tried not to ask questions
But there is no more in me

Too many nights in cold sweat
I can’t hear them anymore
Voiceless, faceless
Shadows, and none
Can make a clean entrance.

But I still see that gold glimmer
Your hair drenched
Raindrops on your button-up
Lips as thick as the ocean
And you can’t see a thing

Stay There. (For Kayla Marie Shepard)

Even with all the rose petals
Draped over his eyelids, he
Can still make out crimson
Smiles and blue-silver gazes, she is
The color of San Francisco.

Hers is a gray of vivacity,
Obscure, intricate, hazy,
And yet she glows.
Glows brighter
Than fire or gold,
Diamonds or moonlight,
as if she has not yet been
reached.

He throws tiny pebbles
From the sidewalk
Into the atmosphere
And smiles.
Among a million moments,
His with her
Will last a thousand years.

Overcome (Partial)

We walk on roads,
warped and beaten by those before us.
On these dusty broken paths
we will encounter roadside distractions;
These heavy weights seek your destruction.
They will stop at nothing.
You are not unbreakable
They will take you.

And when every blade has broken your flesh,
When every gaping wound yearns to exhaust the spoils of your insides into the ether,
Stand Solid.
Let nothing escape.
Let not one drop of red depart. Take it in.
Let white streaks of lightning shoot through your fingers and toes
And let them exit through every hair follicle.
Act as a conductor,
Growing and growing as the energy builds inside of you.
Consume every last ounce you possibly can,
And then expel it with a force so great that the entities above can no longer tell you,
"No. It is not your time."

At one point we all encounter roadside distractions.
Climb Mountains
Break your back
Reach the top
Fall from the cliff
and sleep it off.